since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
