As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
