like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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