I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
