Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
