some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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