So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
