Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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