By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
