I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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