Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
