He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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