Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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