watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
