Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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