Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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