Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
either way he was missing a nipple.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
