I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize