i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
