No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
