the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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