why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
