The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
