I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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