Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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