their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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