Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
