well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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