i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
