so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
