i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
