Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I stole a fireplace last night.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
