You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
