Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
