bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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