He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize