Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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