its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
