Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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