I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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