You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
