There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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