nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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