Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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