The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I hate all girls vehemently.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize
