I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
