Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
