and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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