so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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