You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
