you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
