There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize