East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
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My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
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Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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