loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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