And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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