Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
