i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
