its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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