I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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