Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
