Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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