did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
where am i from again
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
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