Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize