I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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