He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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