I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
