I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i need some magic done to my vagina
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
