How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
