he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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